Friday, June 19, 2009

Missing Maddie

I have a need to read posts about a beautiful little girl EVERY DAY. I am mesmerized by her smile, and her spirit and I have never even met her. I cling to these posts and I am not sure why? Is it because she was just so freakin adorable, yeah that probably has something to do with it, but I think it just amazes me how much she means to the world, to strangers (like me). It amazes me how much she was loved and adored by strangers (like me). I knew her mom for a short period of time during school, but to Maddie I am a stranger. She passed away this past April at a mere 17 months. It was as if I lost a memeber of my family...but "I have never even met her". For some time now I didn't really want to admit how much this effected my day to day with my own kids, because I felt stupid... yeah stupid, for feeling so much for someone I had never met. I have had the questions time and time again from friends and family: "Why do you read these blogs, they are just so sad?" "Why put yourself in that kind of pain, for a little girl you didn't even know" "I just don't know" is all I can say.
I just read a great quote from(yet again) someone I don't know posted on Heather's blog and it describes perfectly how I feel: "I have never found a blog that has more ’soul’ than this one. Each time I visit, I leave with an amazing feeling. I can’t figure out how we, the readers, have been blessed to share in your joys and pains dealing with Maddie. I have found myself looking at your posts and selfishly wanting more. Then, I think about all that you and Mike have given us, and remind myself that this is not just a blog, but it is indeed your life." -Keonte I don't know who this is, but finally someone was able to describe how I feel.

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